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Hm okay.

So there is a good chance that Leah will leave me and move back to her hometown because being near me isn't worth all the friends she's missing, or the comfort zone.

I guess I can see her point. But not very well because I've never been all that attached to people. There are friends who will always be my friends, but there's no urgency about us all living in the same town. My best friend lives a half hour away. Leah only lives 45 minutes away from all her friends.

I'm more independently minded I suppose.

I'm trying not to take it personally, but with everything that has happened, I don't think I could go back to having a long-distance relationship with her. Especially with all the fights and ideological disagreements. For instance, she will never ever tell her family OR her friends about me. So I'm only a big part of her life when no one else is around. It hurts.

Maybe it would be better if she left. But as long as she's in town I stand by what I said months ago: I would do anything for her.

You know, within reason.




If she does leave here are some things I could do:

- work overnight shifts every night and get paid to sleep (I just started a job caring for seniors)
- try and get into Peace Corps even though I'm a college drop-out
- move anywhere I want
- hang out with people more and make new friends
- start eating healthy foods again
- find someone who is comfortable with themselves
- or more specifically, continue the search for my soul mate - I met her!!
- or I could continue being single and happy and spiritual like I was last summer




And yet for some reason I just love her too much to let her go.

Comments

caphius_quill
Apr. 2nd, 2009 01:55 am (UTC)
Ignoring the more serious things in this post, Brian (the dog) is a college dropout and he was in Peace Corps!
faelhah
Apr. 6th, 2009 03:01 pm (UTC)
Hm, I should let the recruiters know. If I succeed, at least I will be more like Brian.

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